Saying goodbye to friends will be a challenge for many
seniors. Saying goodbye doesn’t come
naturally for most of us. It is so
emotionally uncomfortable or logistically awkward that it may consist of little
more than one last social event that ends with a perfunctory “Let’s stay in
touch!” But if you would like to do more
than just ride into the sunset ...
Getting together with your group of friends for a final
meal, party, or Happy Hour is a great thing to do. But let me encourage you to take some time to
do something special for those friends who have been especially meaningful to
you during your sojourn at Trinity.
Indeed, there are probably a few faculty and staff who have been
especially meaningful as well.
Here’s my recommendation for a simple gift that will mean a
great deal to the students, faculty, and staff for whom you feel the greatest
affection and gratitude: give each
person a message tailored just for that person, a memento of your relationship.
Your message might include personal qualities in the other that
you have valued, specific memories that you treasure, and specific examples of
one or two times during your Trinity sojourn that the other was especially
meaningful to you. In short, express
your gratitude and cite at least one or two specific memories. And, of course, express whatever regret you
feel that you won’t see each other as often and hope you might stay in touch—if
indeed you do!
In this age of electronic communication, your expression of
gratitude will be especially powerful if you write it by hand. Doing so would make it distinctive. A hand-written note could become a memento
that the other person would keep and value.
You might write your messages in greeting cards, but it would also be
okay simply to use ordinary paper. The
mere fact that you made the thoughtful effort to write a personal message will
be meaningful, regardless of the stationery.
Or your penmanship.
And there’s no right way to deliver it, either. A one-on-one time with each person may be
comfortable for you. Or maybe not. Perhaps you are too shy. Perhaps you can talk one-on-one with your
friends, but not with that “intimidating” professor whose class made a difference
in your life. Or perhaps you are
determined not to cry. It’s okay to send
a message through campus mail or the U.S. Postal Service if you can’t do deliver
it in person.
Your message may open the door for the other person to share
with you, and a conversation may ensue.
If so, I hope you will be able to embrace it. And if you cry, then I hope you can accept
those tears and see them as an additional gift you give the other.
- Richard Reams, Ph.D.,
associate director of Counseling Services
